Archive: “Seen and heard”
Another television house-finding programme. An elderly couple are searching, with the ‘help’ of this programme, for a house in Spain. The property they are viewing is in a remote area with considerable views all round, as the presenter pointed out “…. and just look at those views! You can see as far as the horizon […]
Read more »Something I heard many years ago. ‘An abrupt vertical inclination of the cranium, is as effective as the momentary closing of one optical organ to an equine creature which is entirely devoid of vision’. In other words … “a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse”.
Read more »I went to the local Waitrose shop recently and was slightly annoyed to see the usual, importunistic, “Big Issue” vendor hovering at the entrance. “Damn,” I thought, “how am I going to avoid this pest, without suffering the slight feeling of guilt at ignoring him?” I need not have worried, however, as he was too […]
Read more »Whilst waiting for my wife, who was trying on clothing in Barsley’s department store in Paddock Wood, I heard a little girl, about nine years old addressing her mother. The conversation proceeded thus: “Mummy, may I go and look at the swimming costumes?” “Yes, dear.” Little girl walked past me to view the items which […]
Read more »John describing Samantha’s breakfast habits “She eats this mixture of yoghurt and birdseed. It then sets like concrete around the bowl because Sam’s idea of putting it to soak is to leave it in the bottom of the sink, where I find it hours later. It’s so hard that it’s liable to take the pattern […]
Read more »I have noticed what could well be seen as parents at a nearby house being very mean to their children this Yuletide. Many people who have a garden pond with fish will place a plastic heron beside the pond in the hope of warning off over-flying herons, who will think the pitch is already taken […]
Read more »Watching the BBC presentation of the European Grand Prix at Valencia I was amused by the following incident. Before the start Martin Brundle was doing his usual walk up and down the grid, looking for likely candidates to interview, followed, of course by a long-suffering cameraman. He had seen several of the usual suspects including […]
Read more »When I was in our local chemist shop I saw two handwritten notices, displayed either side of the prescription counter. “PLEASE BARE WITH US IN THIS TIME OF STAFF SHORTAGE”, they requested. I obtained my medicine and asked the middle-aged lady who served me to please come round to the front of the counter. “Look,” […]
Read more »My wife and I went to the local DIY shop and bought a bird table for the garden. It came in a large cardboard box which bore the legend ‘self assembly’. When I got it home I took it to the garage and laid out all the component parts on my bench. I was then […]
Read more »