Archive: “Seen and heard”
A neighbour, discussing his new car with an equally knowledgeable friend, says of a model he might have bought: “Yeah, they go ’bout nought to summink in four seconds!”
Read more »Back in the days when I worked for Surrey County Council I used to take my Mobile Library for service and repair to the Council’s engineering facility at Ewell. During my visits I used the gents toilet and although I had seen this example of working men’s wit several times before, it always made me […]
Read more »My wife, Susan, School Librarian at a Grammar School, brought home from work a quiz. The type that has a number, followed by initial letters of a phrase. Looking through this I saw “88 TFL”. I said, “Oh yes, 88 two fat ladies.” Later in the evening Susan was writing in the answers and said […]
Read more »In an article seen on the BBC news website a driver in New Zealand was stopped for doing 75 mph in a 60 limit. When the policeman approached the car he found the driver had no arms and steered with one foot whilst using the other foot to operate the pedals. He had apparently been […]
Read more »In the car park of Waitrose at Paddock Wood. I had just returned to my car and was preparing to drive off when I noticed a woman climbing out of the 4×4 which she had parked. She waited by the drivers door for her daughter to come round from the passenger’s side. They then walked […]
Read more »Whilst explaining to daughter Sarah why I had taken a wrong turning in the car on a recent trip, I mispronounced the operative word, saying “It was because your mother was acting as nagivator.”
Read more »These were related to me by Lee, who does like to tease people, especially ladies. His next door neighbour on one side was explaining that she was having trouble with a smoking chimney and concluded “I shall have to call the swimney cheep”. “Ah” said Lee, “The swimney cheep, excellent idea”. “Oh, trust you not […]
Read more »One Saturday morning, at about 10.30, my wife and I were in the local butcher’s shop for our weekly meat supply. There were two of the usual butchers on duty, both of whom are very pleasant and helpful men. The one who was not serving us on this occasion is usually ready with a bit […]
Read more »Anyone in our local area who harbours a dislike of skilled workers from Sheffield should be able to relax in the not too distant future. I have just heard a neighbour in the next road declaiming in a loud voice of the approaching “Cutler free weeks”!
Read more »On my wife’s route to work there is a narrow, single lane bridge, traffic-light controlled, which conducts road traffic under a railway. On this particular morning I received an email from Susan saying she had been twenty minutes late for work because the bridge at High Brooms had been closed without notice. “Will you find […]
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