Archive: “Seen and heard”
TV One morning recently I turned on the television and was confronted by a none-too-attractive woman, of ample frontage and loud voice, presenting one of the plethora of property programmes which crowd the daytime TV listings. Programmes about buying, selling, renovating, ruining or destroying inoffensive houses! She opened with the memorable line “Good morning, I’m […]
Read more »It was just after Christmas, 2004 and our friends Ken and Enid had come to lunch. Susan and Sarah had produced a very nice pie, with a filling of meat, cheese, egg and other things, too numerous to mention. They had made this pie on previous occasions and it had always proved very successful. We […]
Read more »I went today to Chelsfield, the village where I was born, just to have a look around and to satisfy myself that the residents were taking care of the place in my absence. Having parked the car on the Five Bells car park I set out on a short tour of the area. As I […]
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I recently received an envelope, from an unknown person, containing a leaflet. This was publicising a slide show in the village hall at Chelsfield, my birthplace. I went along as the subject matter was ancient pictures of Chelsfield and the surrounding area. I was, however, unable to discover who had sent me the leaflet, which […]
Read more »The television programme “Escape to the Country” is presented by an attractive and ‘nicely proportioned’ young lady, today wearing a tight, pink jumper. In the episode I have just seen, she is viewing a nice house in the company of a male estate agent. In reply to her criticism that the sitting room was rather […]
Read more »Susan, sitting in the sitting-room, looking out to the garden, remarked to me, “I don’t know, the kids of today are all gobby, whether they are humans or birds. There’s a couple of young starlings on the lawn, both bigger than the parent, shouting and kicking up a fuss. They are making all that noise, […]
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Channel 4 television. A car salesman in America is negotiating the sale of a car to a customer. They are discussing the finance. The question to which he requires a reply is, “What deposit can you give?” What he actually says is, “Tell me where you’re at in terms of the minimum down-payment you are […]
Read more »Another house-viewing and buying programme on British day-time television. The punter, a woman, on catching sight of an arched doorway on the outside of the house she was viewing, said, “I like that door. I think it’s really unique!” To which gem the female presenter replied, “Yes, there are lots like that in this area.”
Read more »Lee sent me this one. When driving past Lakenheath U.S. Airbase he saw a group of Airmen, probably defaulters, collecting litter from the roadside outside the base. They carried plastic sacks and spiked sticks and wore camouflage fatigues, which is standard wear for the U.S. Forces. What amused Lee was that over the camouflage they […]
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