A fastidious lady named Susie,
Enjoying an early jacuzzi,
Was surprised in the bath
By a swine called McGrath,
Who ogled her through the jalousie.
The covering of her confusion,
Was effected, to his disillusion,
Then she hurled a back-scrubber
At the impudent lubber,
And brought up a mighty contusion!
He yelled and he shouted and swore,
Whilst nursing the place she’d made sore.
Then she summoned her mother,
Who fetched him another,
And kicked his butt out of the door.
He sneaked back the following morning,
A plaster his cheekbone adorning,
But she saw him arrive
And his plans took a dive,
When she blacked both his eyes without warning.
He didn’t give up, the old lecher,
Was he going to watch her? You betcha!
But he tripped as he stared,
On the trap she’d prepared,
And they carried him off on a stretcher!
The medical staff weren’t amused,
At the crime, of which he stood accused.
When they loosened his pants,
They could tell at a glance,
That more than his pride had been bruised.
Here’s a warning for men, young and old,
Especially those still feeling bold.
The fastidious Susie,
Is remarkably choosy,
As to whom she allows to behold!
Barry Marchant, 1995