Author Archives: Barrybloke
In an article seen on the BBC news website a driver in New Zealand was stopped for doing 75 mph in a 60 limit. When the policeman approached the car he found the driver had no arms and steered with one foot whilst using the other foot to operate the pedals. He had apparently been […]
In the car park of Waitrose at Paddock Wood. I had just returned to my car and was preparing to drive off when I noticed a woman climbing out of the 4×4 which she had parked. She waited by the drivers door for her daughter to come round from the passenger’s side. They then walked […]
Whilst explaining to daughter Sarah why I had taken a wrong turning in the car on a recent trip, I mispronounced the operative word, saying “It was because your mother was acting as nagivator.”
These were related to me by Lee, who does like to tease people, especially ladies. His next door neighbour on one side was explaining that she was having trouble with a smoking chimney and concluded “I shall have to call the swimney cheep”. “Ah” said Lee, “The swimney cheep, excellent idea”. “Oh, trust you not […]
One Saturday morning, at about 10.30, my wife and I were in the local butcher’s shop for our weekly meat supply. There were two of the usual butchers on duty, both of whom are very pleasant and helpful men. The one who was not serving us on this occasion is usually ready with a bit […]
Anyone in our local area who harbours a dislike of skilled workers from Sheffield should be able to relax in the not too distant future. I have just heard a neighbour in the next road declaiming in a loud voice of the approaching “Cutler free weeks”!
On my wife’s route to work there is a narrow, single lane bridge, traffic-light controlled, which conducts road traffic under a railway. On this particular morning I received an email from Susan saying she had been twenty minutes late for work because the bridge at High Brooms had been closed without notice. “Will you find […]
Another television house-finding programme. An elderly couple are searching, with the ‘help’ of this programme, for a house in Spain. The property they are viewing is in a remote area with considerable views all round, as the presenter pointed out “…. and just look at those views! You can see as far as the horizon […]
Something I heard many years ago. ‘An abrupt vertical inclination of the cranium, is as effective as the momentary closing of one optical organ to an equine creature which is entirely devoid of vision’. In other words … “a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse”.
I went to the local Waitrose shop recently and was slightly annoyed to see the usual, importunistic, “Big Issue” vendor hovering at the entrance. “Damn,” I thought, “how am I going to avoid this pest, without suffering the slight feeling of guilt at ignoring him?” I need not have worried, however, as he was too […]