Author Archives: Barrybloke
The television programme “Escape to the Country” is presented by an attractive and ‘nicely proportioned’ young lady, today wearing a tight, pink jumper. In the episode I have just seen, she is viewing a nice house in the company of a male estate agent. In reply to her criticism that the sitting room was rather […]
My son Lee and his partner Debbie recently enjoyed a short holiday in Cyprus, an island which they have visited several times now. Whilst having a meal at a local restaurant they fell into conversation with the Cypriot owner and two waitresses. In the event they stayed most of the evening, exchanging experiences and listening […]
Kids
By Barrybloke | July 4, 2011
Susan, sitting in the sitting-room, looking out to the garden, remarked to me, “I don’t know, the kids of today are all gobby, whether they are humans or birds. There’s a couple of young starlings on the lawn, both bigger than the parent, shouting and kicking up a fuss. They are making all that noise, […]
Channel 4 television. A car salesman in America is negotiating the sale of a car to a customer. They are discussing the finance. The question to which he requires a reply is, “What deposit can you give?” What he actually says is, “Tell me where you’re at in terms of the minimum down-payment you are […]
Another house-viewing and buying programme on British day-time television. The punter, a woman, on catching sight of an arched doorway on the outside of the house she was viewing, said, “I like that door. I think it’s really unique!” To which gem the female presenter replied, “Yes, there are lots like that in this area.”
Lee sent me this one. When driving past Lakenheath U.S. Airbase he saw a group of Airmen, probably defaulters, collecting litter from the roadside outside the base. They carried plastic sacks and spiked sticks and wore camouflage fatigues, which is standard wear for the U.S. Forces. What amused Lee was that over the camouflage they […]
A neighbour, discussing his new car with an equally knowledgeable friend, says of a model he might have bought: “Yeah, they go ’bout nought to summink in four seconds!”
Wit
By Barrybloke | June 28, 2011
Back in the days when I worked for Surrey County Council I used to take my Mobile Library for service and repair to the Council’s engineering facility at Ewell. During my visits I used the gents toilet and although I had seen this example of working men’s wit several times before, it always made me […]
My wife, Susan, School Librarian at a Grammar School, brought home from work a quiz. The type that has a number, followed by initial letters of a phrase. Looking through this I saw “88 TFL”. I said, “Oh yes, 88 two fat ladies.” Later in the evening Susan was writing in the answers and said […]