Author Archives: Barrybloke

She should be so lucky!

By | July 16, 2011

In our local Health Centre waiting room, not long ago, I was sitting waiting my turn. The chairs are set out in about six rows, with each row numbering about eight. I was in the front row and to my right were two women, one about seventy years old and the other, somewhat younger was […]

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Fruitcake

By | July 15, 2011

Last Autumn I bought new glasses from Specsavers in Tonbridge. Unfortunately this was not a smooth and straightforward operation and resulted in my making repeated visits to the shop, before I was finally satisfied with my purchase. As a result I came to know several of the young ladies on the staff quite well. I […]

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Hot pursuit

By | July 14, 2011

This story was told to me by my sister, Betty. She and her husband Ron were on holiday in Dorset, many years ago. On the day of which I write, they decided to go and enjoy the sunshine at Chesil Beach. They had set out a picnic on the pebbles, for which this area is […]

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Disgusting of Tunbridge Wells

By | July 13, 2011

This was the lead story in our local free newspaper, the KM Extra, dated October 22, 2004. Injury of crazed flat siege man Police baton round hits him in groin A CRAZED dog snatcher who hurled a bizarre array of weapons at police and threatened to shoot them with a golf club has been jailed. […]

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Two nations divided by a common language

By | July 12, 2011

Scene from an American film: A man storms into a bank and demands to see the the manager. Upon being told that he must wait, he heads for the managers office, in no mood to be refused. The alarmed receptionist calls after him, “You can’t go bursting in, the manager is servicing a client!”

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As seen on …

By | July 11, 2011

TV One morning recently I turned on the television and was confronted by a none-too-attractive woman, of ample frontage and loud voice, presenting one of the plethora of property programmes which crowd the daytime TV listings. Programmes about buying, selling, renovating, ruining or destroying inoffensive houses! She opened with the memorable line “Good morning, I’m […]

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Pie or bust

By | July 10, 2011

It was just after Christmas, 2004 and our friends Ken and Enid had come to lunch. Susan and Sarah had produced a very nice pie, with a filling of meat, cheese, egg and other things, too numerous to mention. They had made this pie on previous occasions and it had always proved very successful. We […]

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Just checking

By | July 9, 2011

I went today to Chelsfield, the village where I was born, just to have a look around and to satisfy myself that the residents were taking care of the place in my absence. Having parked the car on the Five Bells car park I set out on a short tour of the area. As I […]

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Gardening: a relaxing pursuit

By | July 8, 2011

Susan and I went to Notcutts Garden Centre in Pembury to buy some shrubs. As usual, it was quite busy and we had to park in the upper car park. This entails a steep climb up a narrow, winding road and, having parked, an equally steep descent down a pedestrian walkway, also winding, in order […]

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Passé postage

By | July 7, 2011

Stamps

I recently received an envelope, from an unknown person, containing a leaflet. This was publicising a slide show in the village hall at Chelsfield, my birthplace. I went along as the subject matter was ancient pictures of Chelsfield and the surrounding area. I was, however, unable to discover who had sent me the leaflet, which […]

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